~ incoming call ~

hey ~ you had called me today ~ haha ~ shock when I saw my phone show out your name ~ since after you had girl friend , you didn't called me at all ~ but that time I'm in the car , can't said too much ~ you also can guess it ~ 

'' what are you doing ?'' ''umm .. in the car'' ''why ? '' ''lol ~ going home'' ''are you driving ?? '' ''nope , not dare .. mom is driving .'' '' haha .. I know , xP '' ''lol ~ very free ?'' ''yaa .. so called all of my FRIEND ..'' ''oic ~ where's your girl friend ? '' ''not free'' ''no wonder lar ~ '' ''why ? lol ~ why must everyday on phone ? will boring want '' ''yaa meh ? (that time you call me everyday) '' ''yaa lah ! long time didn't chat with you already mar '' '' en ~ :) '' ''why so quiet ? '' ''umm .. '' ''can't on phone ? because your mom at car ?'' ''yaa ~ hee .. clever =) '' ''okay lah !! I called you tomorrow , bye .. '' ''en .. bye ''

I know ~ you won't called tomorrow ~ but never mind ~ I'm not mind at all ~ ;) but i feel happy that I'd hear your voice today ~ you know ? I miss your voice so much ~ hee ~

Failure ~

I'm a person who are failure ~ failure in love , failure in friendship , failure in family love ~ sometimes , I think , thats be great if I never appear in this world ~ feel like wanna go suicide ~ but I scared ~ I did't have that courage ! and did't had any reason to let me died !! I'm not yet filial piety ~ I need to help my mom although sometime argue with her ~ I hate everything about myself ~ hate hate hate !!! really really hate !!!!!

the death of Alviss Kong ~

This is not the first time we’ve heard of people leaving a suicide note in Facebook. Alviss Kong did that to show his love for her girlfriend (4 months relationship) after their breakup by posting a message on Facebook talking about a 45 minutes countdown before he jumped off a 14th floor building in Ketumbar Heights, Cheras, Kuala Lumpur.

It happened in his house and he was pronounced dead on his way to the hospital.

Few hours before his suicide, he posted in facebook whether he should commit suicide or not. However, his friends thought that he was just fooling around. A few of his friends in the end took this seriously and beg him not to do it..

I guess he really show his love to BinLuii Binluii (his girlfriend) how much his love is worth. His life….

this news report on Chinapress, a local Chinese Newspaper reporting about it that the guy passed away 9AM in the morning just yesterday.

Alviss Kong’s last note

feel sad when I read the news ~ I cried ~ feel pity to the girl , the guy and his family ~ really hope this kind of things won't be happened again ~ that guy is handsome ♥ I will cherish if I get it ~ but the feeling cant't be force ~ 

feel sad ~ sad because of the guy's family ~ hope you all can be strong ~ because this is the choice that he decide ~ I think he won't regret ~ so , restrain their grief ~ and alviss kong , rest in peaces ~ hope you will cherish yourself in the next life ~

before exam & after exam ~

before exam , I felt scare and nervous ~
after exam , I felt scare , nervous and worry ~

I worry about my result , scare about my result , felt nervous to know my result ~
I though I will relax after I took the exam ~ but I'm wrong ~ I really scare about it ~
I felt the examiner trying to helped me , but .................. I can't help myself ~
I know , I will fail my aural test , I think the examiner also felt it , so , he gave the simple sight reading to me , no sharp , no flat , its C major ~ but I ....................................... aicks ~ ~ ~

I don't want to fail it ~ but ~ ~ ~
hey !! the examiner looks like KFC that old man ~ haha ~
I try to think positive ~ but I scare will have a big disappointment ~
what should I do now ? suddenly feel don't want to continue study already ~ LOL ~ EyenYap !!!! PLEASE !!! DON'T SO LAZY !!! may be the dean's wife is true , business and piano din't have any relation ~ is it wasting my time ? but just for knowledge !! aicks ~

KL ♥ 25nov — 28nov ~~~ xP

just come back from KL.. hmm.. not willing to come back =) I go KL for attending my cousin's wedding dinner~ after I go that dinner I realize that I got so many cousin~ but got some I didn't talk with them before~ xP

actually quite happy to go KL.. because it let me feel our distance is nearer~ haha~ I remember that last time, I don't like stay in KL, because you are in Kuantan.. but now, you move to KL..although I didn't meet with you, but I also will feel well =) I think I almost crazy with you .. xP .. but I think is better then last time already~ xP

I saw a cousin, he's my mom's brother's son~ his name is ah ken.. he's handsome! but I didn't talk with him before~ he graduation in England! haha~  his dad. my uncle is sick, so he's take part time job when he's free, and he is use his money to finish school ! so cool !! I think, he will become my idol ! xP

haha~ that day shopping with my family, aunt and cousin in Sungai Wang.. I had bought many T-shirt ! for Chinese New Year~ but NOT ENOUGH YET !! I still want to buy more !!! xP

my cousin & my brother~ ♥

~~SHIRT~~

I did't bought this ! xP

                   stupid face~                                      fat fat fat !!

I bought this ~ ♥

smile =)

 bought this for piano exam~ scared !

didn't bought this ! its too expensive ! although I like this ! its cost + RM 200 ~ 

OMG OMG OMG !! xP

---THE END---

人生~~♥

有人活了一輩子，卻沒有真正活過一秒鐘，他們不是追憶過去，就是期待未來，從來沒有活在當下。

幸運之神的降臨，往往只是你多看了一眼，多想了一下，多走了一步。

你若不想做，會找一個或無數個借口；你若想做，回想一個或無數個辦法。

魅力通常在智慧之中，而不是在容貌之中。

好想談一場沒有分手的戀愛 ~ ♥

好想好想談戀愛噢~ 哈哈哈>< 我在发橋~

好想當我累時，可以有男朋友疼，有男朋友愛，有人珍惜，有人愛護~ 但我的真命天子何時才會出現呢？我等不及啦~ 哈哈哈.. 我可不想當老姑婆噢~ 哈哈

雖說好想談戀愛，但不像隨隨便便的啊~ 好煩哦！沒人追也煩，有人追也煩~ 呵呵~ 沒人追時就感覺好孤獨；有人追就覺得好煩！

真的好想愛上一個人，好讓我可以真正的把你給放下.. 魔蝎座的我不輕易愛上一個人，一旦愛上就會愛得很深~ 以前的以前，你陪我一起放下了他，現在，誰又能陪我放下你呢？或許，時間真的能淡化一切吧~

我真的很怕孤獨，很怕沒人理我，很怕沒人在乎我的感受.. 還好，我的朋友沒把我給拋下，要不然.....我真的會看不開呢！呵呵呵，傻掉了><

我的眼光不會很高罷啦，為什么都沒一個能看得上眼的？

就要帥要體貼又要關懷，還有最好有 $$ 的，沒 $$ 沒關系，最重要是勤勞，還有感覺 =) 哈哈哈.. 開玩笑啦，我什么新鮮蘿卜皮啊，沒那么大的頭，不敢戴那么大的帽~ ><

丑角 ♥ lyrics

feel the lyrics is damm suitable to me =(


陪你放肆嬉闹

开场前就应该明了

谁该买票 谁扮丑角 早注定好

只要你不无聊

浓妆我就不会卸掉

努力讨好 逗你欢笑 多陪你一秒

我只是 寂寞的解药

我也知道 曲终人该散了

只要你开心就好

我只是你生命中的配角

娱乐过你也骄傲

就算听你说他的好

心里对你再多爱慕

仍是站在远处 只给你祝福

你有权利寻找

你最适合谁的拥抱

既然爱过 还你自由 我不哭不闹

我很自私～ 對不起～ ='(

好討厭你！你知道我最討厭人家騙我的！為什么你還要騙我？你答應我的東西到哪去了？你為什么突然消失啊？

你記得嗎？那時我和哭著和你說，'' 我討厭當避風港、討厭當代替品、討厭人家騙我，而且是那些騙了一次又一次的！''  是你和我說，'' 我愿當你的避風港、我愿當代替品、我不會騙你、我有很寬的肩膀，可以讓你靠 '' ~

是你和我說不開心要告訴你！是你說不開心要找你的！是你說愿當一輩子的好友！是你說不讓我做老姑婆的！

我很自私，對吧？從未顧慮你的感受~ 你知道有人要追我，就會看看那是什么人，即使不開心也叫我幸福~ 當我說對你只有好感，你說這就夠了！
對不起！真的對不起！

我沒眼光對吧？你干嘛那么傻啊！那么多人暗戀，卻喜歡上一個并不能給你幸福的人！每次吵架，你心情都會很 down，都會哄回我。記得有一次，我和你吵了，我看到你寫的那篇 note，但其實有點感動，卻裝作不在乎～ 我有想過、考慮過，但還是沒法接受遠距離的戀愛～ 要你看著我為別的人難過、不開心，你都會裝作無所謂的安慰我～

你叫你的 ex send 那封 message 給我，我看了，我哭了，沒事干嘛寫到那么 touch 啊？真是的！你知道我是很愛哭的人，干嘛還要弄我哭啊！你的消失我沒怪你，我怪自己，為什么你不開心我卻不知道？我只是以為你忙！想找你，但想了想，不要還是好了～沒錯，我也不希望你越陷越深……

說真的，很不習慣～ 很不習慣沒有你的日子～ 很不習慣少了你的嘮叨～ 很不習慣沒有人讓我當發泄品！我不需要你的道歉，因為，我沒資格讓你守護我一輩子！你在我心中也有位子的噢！別把自己看低了！我應該會很快就恢復吧？對吧？aicksS~

★ WoRRy-ing ★

damm worry about you~ but.......worry this word is not suitable for me to use on you.. I didn't have any place~ plus I want 避忌 xia~ as I said before, I won't be the third party~

I know, your best friend + ex girl friend is leave you, leave her family, leave everyone.. I know, you are a guy that very 重感情~ you feel hurts and sad~
please don't keep blame yourself okiexx? you also don't want she pass away de~what can us to blame? blame the heaven? life is unfair?~ you'd said, if can, you will change your life with her.. you said you're selfish.. you want leave first~ I know, she's a important friend to everyone~ you even can't see her last face~ but she also don't want all of her friends like that!! I hope you can put it down~ let the time bring through every things~ yaa, it's true, she's in your heart, your mind.. she's just beside you, so, let smile with her, let her can 心安理得的上路~

your girl friend are worry you~ congrats.. she's love you so much~ yesterday my friend just ask me about you, '' their two are serious? real love? '' I said, '' of course~ '' '' feeling sad? '' '' if I told you I'm not sad, you will trust? haha~ I'm see open already, because if let the time return to the pass, I also will not accept him in the second time~ '' actually I still wanna continue to said, '' because the first time I won't break with him =) '' but I didn't said that~ I sked keekee you will scold me =P

wanna call you, but i can't.. last time you didn't had girl friend, I still can worry about you, talk with you, but at last you also will ask me why so worry you? why so care you? then I will answer, because you're my friend =) now, you got girl friend, ''worry'' this job let her to do~ sorry that today I can't comfort you~ hope you can recover your heart as soon as possible~

Eyen, 我好佩服你噢～♥

Eyen, 我真的真的很佩服你噢～你的臉皮到底有多厚的啊？丟臉丟到家里去了！你不糗的嗎？你不糗我糗啊！你這叫大膽？還是''直''？還是臉皮厚啊？丟臉啊！我要看看你的臉到底是用什么做的！你問的時候怎么不婉轉一點啊？干嘛那么直接啊？好佩服你哦！鼓掌鼓掌！！YEAH!!!!!! ><

【愛一個人好難】

用盡一身的愛～ 換來一身的傷～ 有時既是無奈～ 人生卻是悲哀～ 痛苦緊跟身邊～ 歡喜卻不到來～ 難道注定失敗～ 永遠沒有未來～ 終于開始明白～ 愛一個人好難～♥

【曾經的回憶】

曾经那么那么的爱你～♥ 曾经那么那么的幸福～♥ 而现在我什么都没有～♥ 留下的都是你的回忆～♥ 如果时间能因我停留～♥ 我好想回到幸福的我～♥

ForgOt ? ___ PutD0wn ? ___

回憶過去﹏痛苦的相思忘不了﹏為何你還來撥動我心跳﹏♥

MayBe, you know I'm still got feeling to you~
MayBe, I just a past for your life~
MayBe, you doesn't lie me~
MayBe, I too confidence to myself~

remember? 20aug, u said, ''I know you will be my listener,but this time i just want be tough and go through every problem..no regret to know you and be with you last time...as you say,my soul not here''...
30sept, you said ''yyy 你變了好多，以前都不是醬的!''.. then I said, ''XXX，人是會變的!!你也變了不是嗎??''~ ''我是變了，但對你不變''.....///// 

yup!! I will be your listener~ you also will be my listener, because your‘re mature, you can help me solve every problem~ after that time, I just treat you as my goRgoR~ do you remember? that time you call me, and chat with me, you'd said, xxx is your dearest mui~ then i said enen~ you asked me, you think you are what in my heart? I don't know how to answer~ then i said, hmm.. mui also?? you said NOT.. you are my beloved~♥ actually I'm great to hear that.. haha~ but as I said before, I can't sure your heart, so I know to control~ 28oct, you able to chase your girlFriend already...

I'm shocked when I know you got girl friend~ after this, I know all the past that you said with me is just a joke~ but why? after you're leave, I can't control myself to missing? after you're leave, I just know what I'm thinking about?? I'm already try my best to stop thinking of you~

you and me, 開始得快，end up 得也很快~ 快得讓人措手不及~
me, 學著遺忘，卻遺忘不了~

你的出現，還能撥動我的心懸~你的一句話，還能讓我很在乎~
何年何月何時何日，我才能真正的放下你？忘了你呢？

♥MiSSing HEaRt♥

今天你是那样的理所当然
问我过得好不好
我当然回答过得很好
你真是太不了解我了
没有你我怎么可能过得好
没有我难道你过得很好吗？
没有你的世界实在太辛苦
我怨恨自己竟然还在呼吸
如何是好？　我现在还在过着因为你的一句话就会崩溃的日子
你告诉我　是我独自如此　还是你也同我一样？
告诉我　你是否也每天痛了又痛？
你和我已经太迟了吗？
我们再没有机会了吗？
我还在想念着你
也许你是知道的
结果就这样了吗？　就这样结束了吗？
这样子你都无所谓吗？　我是无法做到的
此生我再也不会拥有对你那段的爱情
如何是好？　除了你我的心再也无法容下别人　求你抓住我
你知道的　我这个人无论怎么努力都无法把你忘记　求你抓住我

♥Capricorn♥ ～魔蝎座的我～

魔蝎座就是一个冷漠的人、不热情、慢熟且认真。。没错啊！我就是太认真，不像你，把每件事都当玩笑～一個無謂人無意的一句話足以讓我開心/傷心老半天～

其实我昨天已经暗示了你，‘就算我再怎样喜欢一个人也好，也不会为了他放弃我自己’。很明显，你看不明～

从前的我，是温室里的小花，在父母的疼爱下长大，没离开父母过～中四那年叛逆，骗了父母说学校主办去 genting 玩，你们当时不给，我就很頑皮的幾天不跟你們說話，你們后來才點頭～在我還未交錢時，學校取消參與，任性的我懂你們知道學校沒參與是一定不讓我去 的，我就快快交錢先，哈哈～你們無可奈何，最終還是給我去了～在我去 genting 那兩天一夜，你們倆都沒睡熟，很擔心我～爸，媽，對不起～♥

我真的覺得我長大了～以前，我連死蟑螂都會怕的，到我把這蟑螂給除掉，雖然過程很 funny，但至少比以前勇敢了。爸，因為你的意外，讓我長大，讓我學會什么叫珍惜～以前，我天天埋怨，什么都埋怨，但現在，我知道什么是知足常樂～♥

我雖是魔蝎座，但我不認為我和魔蝎座的性格相同，到現在，我認為了～長大后，才知道什么是穩重等等的～其實，我喜歡音樂，喜歡唱歌，但不代表喜歡做老師、教學生。有的時候，我都會偷偷躲起來哭的，我真的覺得很大壓力～我不到外繼續學業，其實我希望能夠盡快當老師，賺錢，幫母親分擔～我不想媽媽你那么辛苦～我記得，那時申請了 tarc 的 pre-u 后，媽你就買了hostel 的 bank draft，后來，你準備要買course的 bank draft 時，你問我，真的確定咯？買了hostel 的可以拿回，但買了course的就拿不回的啦～我三心兩意，1，我放不下你們。2，我沒離開過家人的，我很擔心。然后我就拿出calculator, calculate 我們家里的費用，不算還好，算了后..............................而且pre-e不可以借PTPTN的。。我知道你們有多余的錢讓我去讀書，但我拒絕，因為我不可以那么自私～

然后我就說，算啦，我留在這好了。當我說了后，我真的很想哭，我忍住了。

那天到olympia college 去問了，may be I will take take information technology 的course~可以讀書當然好啊～哈哈～雖然學費貴了點，但勝在我免了徼hostel and pocket money, and also can borrow PTPTN..我不后悔當初選擇留下來，因為對我來說，家人勝于一切。 從前的我覺得有朋友就好了～但現在變了=)這就是我不會為了某某人而放棄自己，因為我有我愛的、和愛我的家人～♥雖然有時會吵架，但家人就是家人，永遠都會得到原諒的～♥爸，我們都等著你，快恢復原來的你好嗎？加油！♥

If_You_Not_Love_Me___Please_Don't _Provoke_Me !!!

请你别来招惹我！我好不容易把心情给平复了！为什么？为什么你骗了我一次又一次？？

I had saw your blog yesterday~you remember what you had told me before? you said, you never treat every girlFriend as substitute~ included me~ okay! fine! I trust! because you never treat me as substitute, you just treat me as haven!! you will find girl friends, because of you hate all the girl.. last time, your beloved had push you to her best friend, so you want to revenge all the girl.. but you know?? not all of the girl also like your beloved so great~I remember that you also told me before, you had tried to get some warm from all people, but the end you understand, your heart not at here, after you get warm also nothing special for you~ I really remember what you had told me., what you had said to me before~

I always think, if last time i didn't break with you, whats will different with now? but I think, thats nothing different with now~ because, originally, I found that I never stayed in your heart before~ NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!

you had said: ''I'm not important for you also, that nothing different with you late reply or what.. Agree?'' I wish I can said not!!! you are important to me! when I saw your message, comment or post, I will feel happy!! although I know you like to make me angry~ I also remember that you said, you like lc de yyy.. I still remember!! I miss you so much~~

Eyen, please try to control yourself!!! And YOU!! please don't come to provoke me again!! I hate people lie me!! I had broken trust to you!!

寂寞寂寞就好 - Hebe 田馥甄

 I like the lyrics so much~

還是原來那個我 不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾 遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容
不算什麼 愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯 早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去 痛到 受不了 想到 快瘋掉
死不了就還好
我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會 笨到 忘不了 賴著 不放掉
人本來就寂寞的 借來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你 是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用 每個人有每個人的業障因果
會有什麼 什麼都沒有
早點看破 才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去 痛到 受不了 想到 快瘋掉
死不了就還好
我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會 笨到 忘不了 賴著 不放掉
人本來就寂寞的 我總會把你戒掉

I feel the lyrics is suitable for me~ I stay in alone is better~ I'm need to return back all my happiness, because its borrow from others~ and also, promise myself, will return happiness to myself~ because......I'm not stupiD~ =)

TryMyBestToForget !!!!

I had give a friend scold today~~ She asked me don't care him any more~ he is not your bf now!! so care for what?? after i saw this sentences, I was hurt!! n I cry!! she said, this is the truth!! no need to hurt, still many boy waiting for you.. I know, this is just a comfort~ but I can't control to missing~

and now, I just know my feeling.. I try to forget, force myself to forget.. delete your number from my contact list, n delete u from my fb's friend list.. but after I do this, I feel suffer.. n I add u as my friend again.. >< u ask me whats happen? I said just block wrong people from the list.. u ask, izit deliberately? I said not!!

Hmm.. if let me choose again, I think, I also will make the same decision~ I won't regret what I do and whats I get today... may be, and i also hope, this is just an illusion~ I miss, I love, is last time, not now~ 你的甜言蜜语不再为我而说，以前我们之间的亲密称呼也不属于我了～再没有''我们''、''我和你''这些字眼出现在我俩之间了～

I won't forget all the memories that between we two~ and I also won't be the third party~ I just hope the time can bring through every things~ Anyway, I will try my best to forget~ hope you happy always =)

心放空了～

今天忽然有種感覺要看你的profile。。當然，我看了。回憶一涌而出～～～

我記得那時候，我多想靠近你，陪你度過這難關，但你卻冷漠的把我給推開！你對我說了些過分的話，當時我的心真的真的很痛，形容不到的痛。我躲在廁所里哭。我母親就在外面，我更本不敢哭出聲。我咬住自己的手背，有多大里咬多大力，好讓把心里的痛給減了。但沒用，心依然痛，眼淚依然不停的流，全身也不停的顫抖著。我把水給打開，淋著自己，好讓自己分不清臉上到底哪些是淚、哪些是水。全身的衣服也都濕了～但沒用，淚是熱的，水是冷的、心也依然的再痛著～我永遠永遠也忘不了當時我的心是如何的痛，我從來也沒試過的～那一刻，我知道了、明白了，我該放下了～我沒恨你，因為這都是我自取的，我不怪你，也沒資格去怪你。對你而言，我，是什么？你有否付出過真心？我從未住進過你的心里嗎？你，依然忘不了你的舊情人？

那時你問我，还要在回一起嗎？我猶豫著，我給你的答案是→不懂。我沒騙你，我確實不懂～我不懂我放下你了沒～不懂愛一個人的感覺是如何了～更加不確定你的心了，我不想當玩具、不想當代替品、不想當避风港。

當我知道你有女朋友后，我有點開心，更多的是不開心。我問自己，我為什么不開心？我回答不到～應該是一切來得太快？還是原本就是很久以前的事，只不過被你的花言巧語給騙了？還是那些都不是花言巧語，是每個男生都经常掛在嘴邊的''普通''話呢？

開心的是，你，終于不再孤獨，不再一個人了～我，真心的祝福你～♥ 希望你們能在一起到永遠～♥ 希望她，能令你改變，變回以前大家所認識的你～♥ 直覺告訴我，她愛你，用心的愛你。老天爺是公平的，你的苦也應該受夠了。好好珍惜這幸福吧～♥

about me～

Eyen's the name.. I have long hair.. im not pretty n cute~ I like to hang out v my fren~♥ n I like to dressing up~♥ I had finish study for my form5.. n now, im was continue in my piano~ wish can b a piano teacher~ but its stress~ n next year 2011 will go to college to take some course for improve myself~ Korea n Japan is my dear~♥ KimHyunJoong is my darling~♥ Family is important to me, friends comes to the second.. I hate the feeling of  being deceived.. I will respect to the people who are treat me in good.. The people who are betray me, or bad to me, I will double ur money back~ just tat for intro myself =)